Visit To Newcastle

Re: The two things you asked me, Tidge:

Firstly: What was I praying, Sunday night?

I had just spent the whole weekend having a tour of your new life; an ‘open day’ view of Catie in Newcastle. OK, yes, it had it’s glossy aspect; I didn’t have to attend a lecture and do one of your assignments! Nevertheless, we had a taster of the places, the people, the number of things you do, and how often, hearing of the many mornings a week getting up early to go to prayer meetings, amongst other regular slots. It wasn’t hard to imagine the late noisy nights in hall, at the other end of the proverbial candle, as you gigglingly returned the broken table leg to it’s hiding place in the kitchen cupboard. We did muck in with cleaning up  ‘polystudent festidensis’  in the communal area! This experience admittedly being considerably more rewarding, on meeting some of your flatmates, than the Damien Hirst ‘installation’ we viewed earlier in the weekend.

So, by Sunday evening, I felt I’d built in my mind, a well illustrated resume of your first term and a half at university. It was impressive. I compared the wholesomeness of your student life with what mine had been at roughly the same time. There was no comparison. I had a quick ‘fast forward’ impression of both our lives, and of mine since, as obviously, I have a lot more years on record! Suddenly I recognised that I could ask for more potential to be fulfilled and released, in my life. It was the starkness of the contrast, having seen myself at 19 and then you. So I just wanted to have more readiness, higher expectations of myself and life, less worry that I was unworthy, inadequate, rubbish…more grace outworking, more reliance on Jesus and therefore resiliance. I was celebrating all that God has been able to pour into you and through you, all the life that has flowed and all the rhythm that has been swelling the glorious heartbeat of heaven. This probably sounds crazy to you but I don’t know how else to put it into words. I was celebrating and yet suddenly dissatisfied with what I believed to be consequences of my broken and confused eruption from a sense of powerlessness, being passive, having an ignorant acceptance of the inevitable to insecure, somewhat rejected but nevertheless independent existance. I had such a long way to go, didn’t I? And I am glad that God has brought me this far. Yet I believe there is still much more! Life is full and I am very blessed, but during that worship I suddenly wanted to live more! So I placed all that before the cross. The past is dealt with, no more tears over that, at all. What I put before the cross was my whole history as a context, as if it’s a sealed unit. My now also, and myself. ‘Take me all: I want transformation beyond what is humanly possible.’

I have filled out what I actually prayed because when sharing this with another, so much more qualification and explanations seems to need to be given.

As I said when I was summoned by Mark, we sang the line…”my life is in your hands”… I was all the while participating fully in the worship. So I knelt down, because it was like a compassionate..”OK, I hear you,” from the father.

And secondly: What was prophesied over me?

Mark saw an annointing on me, and said he had seen it from the beginning of the evening. He saw the word ‘Deborah’ over me. He saw that there is a ready warrior in me, and related the example of Deborah agreeing to lead the Israelites into battle when a man would not go. So Israel was delivered into the hands of a woman that day. He saw that the specific area that I would stand against was the occult. I would not be alone. He saw it was as if I was walking down a hill and witches and demons were fleeing, and I was surrounded by angels who would protect me. (Quoted about the angels who encamp around the righteous.)

When he said these things I was not too grateful! I didn’t really want to have to go any where near the occult! Such a ready warrior!!! However, I will let it sit in the scales of my spirit and let it be weighed before the Lord. He prayed that whatever was not of the Lord would be forgotten. I think the bit about being a warrior is probably true. I have a spirit that becomes indignant for the things of God, especially his people and especially if I think they are getting spiritual attack…so….

Then I heard from Jenny, (I am grateful that God gave Jenny sight of my broken and softer side). She saw me in God’s hands. (C:) His hands were cupped all around me. The picture became even softer than that. As if I was in a womb, so fully surrounded and in such a place of sanctuary and safety and protection. It speaks into my spirit of acceptance as a wanted child also. Very healing.

So these are your questions answered. I hope that I have explained well to you, especially the first bit, but I fear the first bit will get a bit lost in translation.


Prayer Returns Nov. 09


I am sitting before you again to be still and quiet in your presence.

To rejoice and celebrate your presence.

To acknowledge that this is fellowship; as your Spirit is not geographically defined, here we are in your presence together. As I intercede, knowing that Christ intercedes perfectly, I am confident of your power and will to bring blessing, by grace to all who are in this prayer communion.

Praise you, you are kind and patient. Thank you for the provision of work and healing for the body so he can work, for the chippy. Protect him and keep his mind awake to your goodness and availability to help him as he desires to serve you and witness in his daily work.

I bring the Cherub and Bono before you. Walk alongside them and pour in the peace that passes all understanding as they cover unfamiliar ground. Let them wonder and share and be quiet or chatty, confident in you and your love for them both. Do your will and reveal that to them as the light of your word guides their steps. Praise you for all you mean and are, to and in them both.

Guide her daily in every way. Thank you for the new provision and its perfect timing. As you lead and allow her to discover her way, protect her in all your wisdom and humility, so she is proactive and quick to learn. Let her witness be light and loveliness, bringing truth and joy. You are so amazing, so strong and mighty and always Holy……fhdia\fhjdsak.lhf!

The Tidge. I continue to take great relief and confidence that you are taking care of her in new challenges. You are the perfect father and life coach. Your love is discipline and your discipline reassures of continued faithfulness to your standards. So make whole her character with assurance of her value and pricelessness to you. How she uses her life will be tuned accordingly. So help her with compassion and power to keep on standing. As she feels vulnerable or ‘full of beans’, be her closest friend, hold her hand so she is reminded you are with her every moment. Thank you.

Thank you for Esther and our very tender friedship, how you so widen the horizons of how we can love each other. As she seeks work in science and feels the fragility of her future, send your reassurance. Help her command fear to recede as your love becomes more 3d. Let your will and Kingdom be seen as she takes each day and its challenges. Let her be both Spirit and flint. Unbreakable life. Please make straight the path to her scientific research, removing the prejudice and blinkers of University obstructions. Open the gates and break the bars. Make her clear in her thinking so her work is crisp and useful, bringing honour to your name.

Let the Tetrarch’s brother have his needs met in Christ but not met by unstable aliances. You are sovereign over all the works and institutions. I ask you to look upon that situation and depend on your mercy, wisdom and eternal goodness.

I pray you help Cara not to be anxious about her teacher’s absence. Take gentle care of her and her classmates. Help them to grow in maturity and skills together and Let this disturbance be used to advantage. Lord I lift the teacher and colleagues up to your hands of healing and reconciliation. Thank you for the width of your overshadowing wings.

Joe T Sh. You have known and been meeting him at every point of need. I pray that he continues in his discovery of you and your character, especially of your grace to fuel him.

Please let him rely on you to inspire him for the organisation of the social events for which he has responsibility. Let him find his organisational skills are growing like excercised muscles, and thus by your power at work within his inner man, bless the school work, the branch groups and the talks he has to prepare and deliver, so he blesses others without hindrance.

Please bring lots of children to the boys CU and likewise girls if such provision is available. Let the things you have promised about praise from the lips of babes and infants be multiplied and evident. Let the branches all grow stronger and stronger in the vine. Jesus thank you for being the source and life in these groups. Let young lives be changed from glory to glory and fruitfulness, making all the teaching available and relevant to every age group.

We pray for the young man sent back to st Lens by the other church. Let him learn a lot about your unchanging and unfailing love by this apparent set back. Help him discover your purpose and hold on to you. Let him be as thrilled and on track in your will as one of the bobsled teams in the winter olympics! halleluja!

As Joe returns home for the Christmas break, help him readjust to family life and be sensitive to how his role is valuable in that circle, likewise his sisters. Bless them all as they relax and celebrate together. Use them together as a family to witness to the community of your trinity love and fellowship. Thank you for what you have done for them and through them.

On his return to Ammersham, help him tackle the paperwork without dread or prevarication! Help him just to get started and then find it is not such a big monster on the hill-toand please let him not have it on his mind during the holidays. Bless his work in every way with the youth.

Please in the course of the next weeks and his remaining time at St Len’s show him what your plan is for the future. Let him hear you in his quiet times, leading him as you counsel him, focusing on each day and how each day is part of the jouirney to the next place of work and service. As he gives himself to your service, keep him assured that you are watching over and guiding him.

Lord this is all in your hands. I lay it all down and thank you for being trustworthy. Your sight and perspective is eternally perfect. Amen.