The moon is back

_46468036_008043128-1Of course, the moon never went anywhere. This is the first time it has been visible at dusk in a long period of grey days. No wonder her freckled, silver face looks so helpless: Check out the news….another tsunami, another couple of earthquakes today and tremors continuing and numbers of dead rising.

I was outside, having dealt with all my little Wednesday tedia, unravelling my thoughts and a blanket of knitted trefoil roots. It was so lovely and peaceful here. Seems incongruous. The sky, which has held back significant rainfall for over a fortight was heavy, sleepy lilac, like Katie Melua’s song. One lonely star, the tearful moon, a shredded veil of clouds framed my tiny, undisturbed, unkempt patch of Wales. People are trapped and crushed in terror and rubble, probably some wishing even the relief of death would come soon. God…..?*?*?……Help them. Thank you…the toddler washed away, the woman who’s children were swept out of her arms..you saw it all and allowed it. And we don’t have to make excuses for you, and you are merciful and good and loving so thank you because you have the answers…I’m just praying you give them to those people, not me, (despite the accusation my heart feels yet again and cannot hide) or anyone who merely observes and wonders. Thank you that there are people on this planet right now who, though they have lost their loved ones, yet they know you are lovingly in control. Help them to help the ones who don’t know that love and are grieving.  The glory when we all understand how the jigsaw fits together will certainly be beyond all imagining. Is Job weeping with the moon up there or is he smiling, I wonder? I trust he has moved on from where I stand. Yet I stand here not wanting to be at a distance from you. I want to be right up close, Yes you are good and you have your arms around me, and the suffering ones. I pray they feel your safety in their danger, somehow, and I believe grace makes it possible for them to.

These are the other things I pray for, no matter how far the scale of need ranges, I’m not going to ‘scale out’ these prayers! God has the most amazing zoomability and for him nothing is overwhelming or too insignificant by comparison.

1 Sophie; please help her to sleep. Please bring healing to all the things that have been wrong and which stop her from falling and staying asleep, feeling secure, being able to concentrate or trust or any other wholesome asset in her life. Thank you, Jesus, that you bring ‘life to the full’ to those that receive you. Thank you that you deal with people on an individual basis and for your unconditional love for Sophie. As each day of the term unfolds, please give wisdom, patience and understanding to Liriene and vast resources of good humour!

2 Joe T Shuster; Let him find plenty of space in all his relationships to be himself, for you in him to minister to the youth and the church in general. Please enable and bless his relationship with his mentor/manager to be really constructive, built on Godliness, trust, understanding and repect. Let the young people recognise you in him and that  they are accepted and can be themself too and continue to let them grow in grace, as Christ grows in them. So wonderful God, let the church’s joy and confidence and hope in you be daily renewed. Let them see your kingdom come, their family unity grow and your glory displayed, so more people of the wider community see you and that you are alive and good and The Saviour. Amen.

3 The chippy. Oh Dad of all dads, lift him up and give him lots of peace and reassurance. Please help him every time he worries about work, the future and all the things that weigh him down, to lean it all on you. All of it. Please have an answer to those concerns too. In the meantime, while we wait to know, please help him to sleep well, not to ache, to keep patience and gentleness and kindness in his heart for all he meets, not just those who deserve it. Let him feel you feeding his soul as he waits for refilling of your Spirits counsel. Thank you that you will never leave him or ignore him. Thank you that you love him beyond space and time. keep him right there knowing you do and that you are the ROCK.

4 Thank you for The cherub and all that she is and is becoming in your love and care. Thank you that you have done so much and that she still loves me, in spite of what I have been. I am really grateful for what you have placed in her soul; for what you invest in her for the training and discipline you keep on using to make her so beautiful as you form Christ in her. Let her be more and more stunning, I would call myself  greedy for asking for this except that it is all for your glory and we are so priveleged to get to see it even slightly and dimly. So let your plans and purposes be fulfilled, keep her teachable and ready to go where and when you call. And God, you will refine these foolish words, I know, so please do only your will, but please always be so gentle and spare her pain if it isn’t necessary. I know you are the most trustworthy parent and I shouldn’t want to protect her from refining fires, but I know you understand..as Jesus, even on the cross saw the human needs of his mother and John…Thank you. Please see her and Adonnise home without any stress or worry, especially regarding tickets and railcards etc.

5 The Tidge. Ditto most of the above. I am so grateful and I want you to have all your own way because it is you in the person, you in the Tidge, that is so glorious and nearing perfection. So beautiful. So inspiring of praise and joy and delight. Thank you that she desires that. Keep that desire alive for her whole life and satsfy it with yourself, dear God, please. I love seeing the bigger picture but again, when I think of the details on a day to day level I fear for her because she is just a fragile human, and my own. I want her to grow but I dont want the growing pains. Still you are good and I know she wouldn’t want to be limited to a stuffy little comfort zone. So keep her trust and hope in you vibrant and vital for the simple fact that you live in her and will never leave her. Take her hand as she finds her way in the new surroundings and help her deal with all the challenges ahead with wisdom and proper proportion. Thank you.

6 My parents. God you know what they need, you have all they need and I pray that you meet that need in Christ, in them, day by day. Thank you for your grace and infinite wisdom. Let love and faithfulness never leave them. Not for one minute. Let them find they are uplifted more as they lean on you more. Give Dad new flying lessons…that make his previous flying days come to mind and be eclipsed. Have the glory from horizon to horizon. Thank you for them. Thank you for the life and newness that you bring to every area of  my relatinship with them that I bring before you in faith. There are things I ‘worry’ about and feel that Dad just doesn’t accept/understand that are the truth. Please help me to either help or leave it to you and to know which to do at the right time. Thank you so much that you are  Saviour, Prince of Peace and Counselor. That is all I need. Thank you.

7  Tonight. Please may I sleep? Please don’t let the accuser use the ‘sleep scriptures’ to imply that I am not loved because I don’t sleep. I guess that’s my responsibility! Thanks for equipping me.

moon at dusk

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Free top up

It was the night before last when I went out to pray and run again. The Chippy was very good about me leaving only a short while after he came home from Cheshire, he was even pretty cool about having to cook his own supper after the long drive.

The going was harder on 2 meals of chips! I made too many the night before when Ian came for supper so I had half the left overs for lunch and the same again for supper! Still, I didn’t seem to take much longer and it’s great to just have the time to be before God, to praise him, as the stars begin to twinkle and the farmers are driving home after their last chore, squeezed in during the last hour of daylight.

I began intercession with Cara and Timothy. Asked God to show me what he has on his heart for them, and I think one of the answers was himself, his loving ever present fatherhood. Knowing their circumstances, this should seem obvious! Anyway, I prayed for all the foundational important understandings of a father to be given them, at the right time, gently and certainly. Thanking God for his amazing love, understanding and wisdom. He is so infinitely good. So I prayed that they would look to him more and more as they grow and learn to know him, be dependent on him…just carried on in that vein for a while, had a great sense of the importance of his presence in their life and how beyond my words his love for them goes!

The Chippy, whom I don’t pray for as thoroughly as I should, because I get complascent, taking his welbeing for granted. This is so wrong, and then I want to pray big amazing incisive prayers but I don’t seem to know what..I should ask God why this is…Note to self next prayer run time. Did the perfunctory prayers, trusting God to ensure he gets what he needs despite my deficiencies.

Seems much easier to pray for the Cherub and the Tidge. Flows easily with their horizons so wide and their lives before them. Just keep them passionate for doing your will, Father, keep them so close and right in the centre of the fountains of heaven’s blessing, by their own choices to honour you, obey you in service and gratitude for the life you have for them. Thank you for their close friendship and and guide them as they enter these new chapters in their lives. Let them know your closeness all the time.

Prayed for Marianne, asking for her to keep looking at the truth and to know your freeing power. Prayed that the enemy would not be stealing her inheritance and freedom in Christ. Prayed for her to have good friends around her and to find strength and mercy each day. Break the circle of destructive thoughts in the name of Jesus. Be the lifter of her head. Thank you for the woman of God you see, Lord when you look at her, and for your delight and joy you feel when your eyes are on her. Truth and freedom and release, God you have it all and so want to give it to your children! Amen.

Did a fairly quick naming of other little ones before God, but focused especially on Louisa and Polly and their parents. Asked you to help them see you are not just a nice polite old God pleased with good, well brought up children and not very interested in the scruffy ones that swear and live in rough areas! Oh Thankyou God so much for being so utterly wise and loving all people without our human blinkers. Please just day by day show us more deeply how you love and what you are like. Thank you that Louisa and Polly have shown an interest in church and Lord, make that a radical thing in their lives, not a pleasant ‘now and then’ diversion.

(Typing this up is harder than the actual praying of it, but it’s really good to have to remember what I prayed and it serves as a pointer to me next time I pray.. so I’m glad I’m doing it, if only for the mental discipline by which praying is improved.)

Praying for Shadrack, Sophie and Shona was easy enough and to the point. The crucial thing is to remember them and not grow tired of praying for them, even though I’ll probably never see them or the way God answers the prayers. Except when I get to heaven.

I named others too, remembering their parents and asking for your guidance and blessing. In particular, Lord, for a ministry for Demitri. (This may all be my idea but at least it gives me something specific and I’ll trust you with the answer…he might become a boiler repair man but you would still use him for amazing work in your kingdom if my prayers for him are answered!) I love your Grace, my amazing God! I pray for Demitri and have such a desire in my heart that he grows up to be a mighty man of God. I know that my maveric tendency could be a total block to this prayer being answered and so I keep having to ask God to ‘search my heart’ and know/reveal any unrigteousness or perversity there and warn me. However, if I focus on the fruit and not the accusation about why I’m praying for this, I can desire it for the purest of reasons, and this I choose to do, my God and KIng…use him and grow him and set him on a course of true goodness. Sovereign Lord, use the promices and prayers of all who have stood in your house and made them, to allow your love and influence to guide, save and keep this boy as he grows. I prayed for him to get into university and a good Christian union and hey presto :D…but I really know that this is like watching a small child rehearsing a cute but silly little play to impress its parents! God knows his plans and purposes for him and I say ‘Amen’, God’s way and will be done in his life, only use him and let him be one who plays his joyful part in bringing in the Kingdom.

As ever, prayed for Joe T Shuster: Play it again Sam! Oh yes, and as I was praying for that ministry and that church, I don’t know if it was the endorphins kicking in because I was running, but I started saying ‘Rock that town’, and very quickly I was praying for the whole nation to be rocked and for new stuff to happen and revival! Had that theme of God coming and shaking and rocking people, hearts, communities, specifically and generally, all the way home. It was very enjoyable and spiritually encouraging which was in sharp contrast to how knackered I was feeling running up the hill past the old sunday school. Well, ‘staggering’ would be a nearer verb to use! Good old Joe, though. He’ll be doing his bit in the rocking of the nation. Halleluya!

To Begin

Right now, to start in a twittery style, I’m trying two things I’ve never tried before! Hot chocolate made with soy milk and blogging. I think there is room for improvement on both counts. 🙂

(I must ask Marianne how she gets the pretty, smiley faces in her blogs.)

Went prayer running this evening. Funny, cos I had to stop and use my inhaler as soon as I got into Lon Glanfred, where I can focus on prayer. Last time I did exactly the same run I didn’t need to stop at all. Probably the plum and apple crumble I’d eaten  twenty minutes before the run, not spiritual attack, on reflection!

Prayed for The Chippy, the Cherub, and the Tidge. I asked for them to know God’s power and Grace and gentleness all the time and for the Chippy, health, wisdom, peace. For the Cherub, for God to supply all she needs to answer his calling and for the Tidge I thanked him for her already having good churches she’s found, prayed for good friendships, thanked for the Irish girl who seems to be likely to form a good friendship with her. Prayed for the whole flat where she is, that God would be pouring his Spirit into that place and preparing to advance his Kingdom there. For each person to be in his sight. For safety.

Prayed for Marianne. Thanked for her friendships and much being positive and healthy. Prayed for her to know God’s ever present love and for a sense of purpose. Prayed for sense of worth and joy and not to let go of what she knows is true. Help her to stand and be confident in who she is in God’s eyes. Lots of love/joy/peace/joy/love…in gentle waves..God’s Spirit just rolling over her and blessing her. Can’t put exactly into words but felt God knew better what to pray than I did I just ran along with the sense of joy and give that personal victory to anyone elseJesus knowing that he has the victory for her and he isn’t going to let anyone steal it from her…it is his personal victory for her…Wow feelings!

Prayed for Joe T Shuster. Still just praying that many young people find God becoming more and more real and present in their life through his ministry. Got a sort of picture of him looking at them as they talked,  him listening, smiling, truly loving and so approachable. Prayed for all his gifts to be used by God for his glory and for equipping in more ways so he grows and really brings more of the Kingdom into being in that place. Prayed for all ‘tiers of society’ there to find they are welcome and invited in and valued.

Then, sadly, I could see the lights of Llandre so didn’t pray much more, just focused on running home. Sort of arrow prayer of acknowledgement remembering the Adamsmiths’ 25th wedding aniversary tomorrow.

It was good to stop by and see Claralee this afternoon. Her middle child off to ***, leaving tomorrow. Chatting and resting with her revived me. Didn’t sleep last night till after dawn with toothache all night but finally settled the pain with sterilising fluid neat on the tooth! (Like putting bleach in your mouth…but desperate measures for dentally challenged brits are called for! Heaven knows only the wealthy can get proper dental care!)

Tamsin was so happy to see me, and made it obvious why….dinner time and she’s home at last! I should start training my body clock to shift with the shortening days. Must clean out the chickens again tomorrow. Talking of which, I ordered a shed today!!! And without the Chippy’s approval! Not with his disapproval either, just as ever during the week, he wasn’t here.